Having someone to talk to at heart's distance...

After chatting with my best friend for close to 3hrs at a random neighbourhood park, it suddenly dawned on me that having someone whom you can talk your hearts out to is such a great feeling. So much that I feel having this process is really damn important to our overall well-being.

As much as I always lament how my this friend can be so straightforward and quick to criticise me (i.e., calling me rude when I told her I intentionally ignored someone or commenting about how my butt grew from size M to XL in a year), I know deep down she said them with good intentions. Always quarreling we are, always finding it hard to see things similarly and forever having communication problems. Millions times, I have been so glad that I'm not her boyfriend for our characters clash so much that it would be unimaginable to be dealing with such problems every now and then.. BUT, despite that, never once have I regretted staying this close to my buddy....

For someone (namely me) who sticks religiously to her so called principles (or maybe, to others, it's just pure stubbornness),  I really find it hard to be convinced. Especially when it's something that I feel so strongly about. However so, my this dear friend will never fail to challenge my thinking.. 

Though reluctant, I have to admit that at times, I'm indeed driving myself to dead ends, leaving no rooms for alternatives. For this matter, it's always good to have someone who's able to "pull" you back to reality.  Someone who will constantly ask you to move on, move on...

Apart from getting the timely encouragement and realisation "calls", I love how such "catching up" allows the mind to receive latest updates of each other's life. We may be going through similar transitions in life, our distinct environments somehow pave our routes very differently. As a result of this difference, we ended up having very dissimilar values. The magical thing is, in spite of the dissimilar values, we are able to relate and see things from each other's point of view. Probably not all the time we are able to do so (which sort of explains why we can't see eye to eye at times), at least we are given this platform to learn and to grow..

And this brings me back to the point, talking at heart's distance is really about opening up and letting the other party enter your heart. Being a psy grad, I know clearly that opening up and letting others know exactly how you feel deep down is the very essence of self-recovery and/or self-discovery. But then again, another part of me knows that sharing can be quite a double-edged sword.. Ha, how ironic. It's hard to put into words how precisely sharing can be quite a therapeutic experience yet a chore. My point is, I am never someone who loves to just stand in front of a group and share overtly. BUT........ because I know the importance of sharing, I really appreciate those who I feel comfortable sharing my thoughts with.

Just because I know my thinking or values can be somewhat "weird" and mostly may not be understood or agreed upon, I am grateful (sometimes) when people try to "correct" them.  Making sense or not or whether will I alter my thinking, probably is not the question of concern here. At least from what I see, it is a process of keeping my thinking in check. Who knows, I may have the thinking of a 1900s ancient old lady which perhaps won't synch in with the minds of the new millennium? Alright, I kid.. I'm actually quite modernised, but I suppose you get what I'm trying to convey here! Aside that, I guess the most significant point that my best friend has always been trying to wrap my head around is that we cannot necessarily force our thinking upon anyone. By that, I mean we have to respect that everyone leads their lives based on their past experiences and future expectations and these vary person to person. To put it in perspective, I can appear nonchalant to relationships, but people close to me all know that I'm 100% for having a kid, which I think (from a evolutionary point of view) very much explains why human existed in the first place. Yes, to me, it's just very simple, we humans exist to reproduce. Of course, I don't mean that we should all mindlessly give birth, but I really think having kids with someone you really love, completes everything. Somehow, for 99487128461276128 times after I've tried to explain my this evolutionary-inspired perception and incorporating nature vs nurture view point to it, my friends just don't seem to buy it (at least all my closer girlfriends don't think giving birth should be something they MUST do) and I swear it can be really frustrating.. Ha. But in the case of my best friend, she's just capable of coming up with her own view points and explained them really well such that I have this instant "ahhhhhhhhhhh, I seeeeee, okayyyyyyyyy, that really makes sense toooooooo." kind of feeling. Ha, no wonder our chit chat sessions can go on for hours.. Having mini debates here and there, with in between, some sort of confessions then a switch of being a listener to speaker..

Oh dear, what a long post.. But I guess I just wanna say that having someone to talk to at heart's distance is really a damn awesome feeling!!